Languages of Loss

“This is a deep and generous book. Sasha Bates offers the reader a compassionate walk alongside her as she weaves her own personal story of loss with her professional understanding. It will be a great support to all who have suffered loss.”

Elizabeth Wilde McCormick, psychotherapist and author

“Sasha’s generosity in writing this vivid, searing account of the loss of her beloved Bill left me deeply moved, moved by the glory of loving and being loved. Her description of moving through the chaos of grief, fully exposing the unknowable inner world of the griever alongside philosophical, spiritual and therapeutic musings were highly illuminating and provocative. But what I was really left with was an awe, an awe of humanity’s fundamental and beautiful capacity for loving connection, with one another and with one’s self. I will keep this book close to me, always.”

Ed Simons, Psychotherapist and Chemical Brother

“Sasha writes exquisitely and honestly, the sheer rawness of what she has gone through and is still going through, sitting in balance with the calm and clear-sighted objectivity of the therapist, who is also her. That I so vividly recognise the Bill I knew is testimony to her skill at characterisation – but whether one knew the man or not, one recognises love when one reads it and one recognises the chaotic agony of a love lost. Exploring the threads of her bereavement with such candour and wit and lightness of touch is a remarkable achievement. Bursting through the bitter darkness of her personal experience shine truths that will serve as bright points of light for those who have shared, or are perhaps just embarking upon, the confusing journey of grief.”

Hugh Bonneville

“This is a book fluent not just in the languages of loss but of compassion, humour, empathy, understanding, revelation and humanity. Even in the depths of her own grief Sasha Bates makes sense of the chaos that envelops all of us and offers not a reductive path to some kind of quasi-redemption but the profound glimpse of a way through.”

Tim Marlow, broadcaster and Director of The Design Museum

“An absolute page-turner. As good as a box set. She brilliantly weaves her own riveting, tragic and funny narrative – how can you be all three at once, but she manages – with really interesting stuff about how psychotherapy and psychology works. Lots of things I didn’t know or hadn’t properly understood – and I thought I was up to speed on such things.”

Rachel Kelly, author

“This book is about so much more than loss. Sasha’s way with words allows the reader to access and connect with the depth of love shared by her and Bill. In doing this, she offers inspiration and hope for us all, highlighting along the way that grief is not ‘the price we pay for love’ but is indeed love itself. I loved this book with every bit of my own broken, open heart.”

Donna Lancaster – Co Founder of The Bridge Retreat

“Reading this book, I’m in the hands of someone I would want to be my side for the traumas of life – however small they seem, or big they loom.”

Kirsty Wark, journalist and broadcaster

“Thank you for writing one of the best books (of many) I have read on grief and for translating how I feel. You have knocked A Grief Observed off its pedestal.”

Lizzie Pickering, Film Maker and Grief Investigator

“Your book is so so amazing for my practice, it really has been super helpful for me in supporting my grieving clients.”

Anthe Ickx, psychotherapist

“A powerful blend of the personal and the professional.”

Mishal Husain, journalist and broadcaster